match made

April just went by without any posts. Not that there wasn't anything to write about. Between updating this page and many other free-time pursuits, I tended to choose the latter.

Many Sundays ago, I watched the free screening of the film-documentary "Match Made", directed by Mirabelle Ang. Synopses can be found at these links:

http://www.cinereel.org/article1187.html
http://www.asianamericanfilmfestival.org/2007/films-events/film-detail/?i=73
http://www.viennale.at/en/programm/filme/2011.shtml

Like most in the audience, it was the first time I witnessed the bride selection process, which can be passed off for an interview for domestic helper type work than for marriage. I watched the film with conventional local expectations on pre-marriage rituals, so it seemed alien that the 4-days proceedings following the interview should lead to marriage. As if from a script written by the bridal agency, the couple held hands, "dated", took some photographs, slept (this was explicitly communicated in Vietnamese to the girl by a member of the bride agency), and went through the customary rituals. Without the drawn-out process of flirtation and courtship that I'd come to associate with a relationship, I found it incredulous that the outcome could be marriage. It was a union out of necessity for the two oppositely gendered humans. For the 19-year old girl, it was a ticket out of poverty. For the guy, well... he was in his late thirties, and earning a decent living as a furniture salesperson, IIRC. He did ask about the girl's ability to take care of elder folks. When asked about his family, he revealed that his other siblings had married and moved out and he is living with his parent. The audience was tickled when he asked about "zodiacal compatibility" as he was screening his propectives brides. For example, he remarked that someone born in the year of the Pig was not as compatible was one born in the year of the Ox.

The film stopped short of capturing the couple in their new homes. To end off, the film reported that the man sent her back to Vietnam three months into their marriage. The crew was unable to contact either parties thereafter.

It also came as a surprise to me that two of my friends, both in their mid-20s and drawing steady incomes, should entertain the thought that they might need to travel overseas to buy brides, one day. Do they believe they are that ineligible, locally? While I can logically understand and speculate the reasons men resort to buying brides, I can never empathise with them, given my background and beliefs.