49 Up

Today, I caught the 7th installment of the series that features close to a dozen adults, presently just a year short of the half-century mark. They were interviewed at intervals of 7 years; the first in the series was produced when they were 7. To be frank, I don't think most of their life stories, each on their own, can generate enough autobiographical interest. I felt all had come to terms with who they are, their pasts, and their mistakes. All featured, with the exception of Neil, have started families and appear at ease with who they are, notwithstanding the health problems and mid-life careers issues they face. The very unique youngsters have gone down very different paths. Yet the more things changes, the more similar they become, and it's got something to do with the commonalising experience of growing up, and old.

Here's a selection of quotes.

Jacky, refering to her 7 year old self: I mean when you look at the 7 year old.... I don't remember being cute.

Interviewer to Bruce: Do you have dreams?
Bruce: I think we just live without our dreams.

Interviewer to Andrew at 7 years old: Do you have a girlfriend?
Andrew at 7 years old: I do have one, but I don't think much of her.

Andrew, when asked about being guarded: I am guarded about being guarded.

Neil on elections: It doesn't matter who you vote for, the government always gets in.

Neil at 7 years old: I want to be an astronaut, but if I don't, I'll just be a coach driver.

I found the once homeless but now politically active Neil most fascinating. While the most of others appeared to be on the defensive and probably even hostile off-screen, Neil has things to tell, is opiniated, and seem uneasy with himself, all at the same time. Unlike the other interviewees who are well-blended into the humdrums of life, he stands out quite naturally against settling for a certain ease and sense of acceptance typical for a person his age.

John: ... I have a little pill of poison to endure every seven years.

My life don't get examined every seven years in public, and I'm glad for that. I can, however, relate to a watered-down version of that pill. I get nervous when I'm invited to attend gatherings with people I was previously well acquainted with (think school and family gatherings). Inevitably, everyone's obliged to report on how the past x years have been and what they are presently doing. For sure, everyone's expected to answer up on relationships, schools, jobs, perhaps even marriage plans and kids in a few years' time. It's great to hear from friends after so long, but I can't help but feel awkward about telling people I've not met for years my life story up till the present, just as the kids in 49 Up are uncomfortable with taking that 'pill of poison' every 7 years.

I fare better than most in some areas, and I also fare worse in other areas. Perhaps I'm just insecure with my weaknesses? Some things are not turning out the way I like them to be, and I do feel regretful for that. When these are brought up, it's like watching cars rush by, while I'm still walking on the sidewalk. The truth is, most would assume everyone's heading in that same general direction, to the same destination, but I'm hesitant. It's still a question I'd like to answer: do I really want to?

John: ... But does it have any value? That's another question.

I really enjoy meet-ups, but I also think they are futile exercises. It's that feeling that more is left to be said at the end of the meeting. I always felt we're not doing justice to the intervening years by not articulating the depth of our experiences, for the sake of brevity. Maybe I'm just quite bad at expressing myself, or just guarded, as they say in the film. It's reductive... so in that 4 hours, we make small talk, I tell my life story and you tell yours, and then we go home, feeling quite unfulfilled. Though I'd expect more, it ends up as good as any other social networking function with strangers.